Owen: And the winner IS...
Dad: Hey, wait a minute Spanky - don't you want to post the final two reviews before announcing the winner?
Owen: For you Dad, anything. It's a good thing you aren't very bossy.
Malachi: I hadn't noticed that Dad is very bossy Owen. But now that you say it, he does constantly bark instructions at us, even when he is talking in his sleep.
Owen: I like it when he tells us how to brush our teeth. Who needs help brushing their teeth?
Dad: Um, weren't we talking about hamburgers?
Malachi: One time, he told me I was boiling water wrong.
Owen: Hey - Mom is in on this too - she tells me that I have to put three swipes of deodorant under each arm every morning.
Dad: Onion rings???? French Fries???? Ketchup?????
Owen: OK Dad - I am ready to start the reviews now but poking fun at you is more fun. Two last reviews this week. We were going to do one last review of a place we saw on TV called Mac and Ernies but they are closed until summer. So, our final two reviews are SHORT STOP and DIRTY MARTINS.
Short Stop
Owen: This is my type of place. I say that they have amazing shakes. I also like how they cut the burgers in half. I can eat from both hands that way. Saves time.
Dad: Well, it's not my type of place. Lowest common denominator. Cheap ingredients, no-thought menu, basic customer service, etc. But I have to admit, the burger was quite tasty. Fries were horrible and Owen is delusional about the milkshakes - they were basic ingredient milk and ice cream bland.
Short Stop 7.0 out of 10
Dirty Martin's Place http://www.dirtymartins.com/
Owen: Ooooowwwww look - PICTURES!
Dad: Nice hair, Sasquatch.
Owen: This place was really cool and because of that, Mom and Dad stuck out like a couple of tourists. The burgers were thin and greasy. YUM!
Dad: Greasy Martin's was indeed greasy. I swear the wax paper that sat under my burger in the basket disintegrated by the time I was done with my meal.
Malachi: Very cool place even though it was a pretty beat up building with not much room to move around. Lots of character and a real good vibe.
Owen: We ate at the bar and watched the cook move the grease from one side of the grill to other without ever touching the bacon mountain. Mom said the mound reminded her of the movie Close Encounters, whatever that is.
Mom: AAAAHHHHH!!! GREASE ATTACKS! Ack! Ack! But to be fair, this is a real cool college and alumni hangout. Everyone was wearing burnt orange with dribbles of grease soaked in.
Dad: All the talk about the oily nature of this place is painfully true but we had a good meal and a great time. Surprisingly, the service was top notch.
Dirty Martin's 7.7 out of 10
Owen: Time to announce THE WINNER! We did the math (and I am not talking about the added pounds) and ranked every burger place that we visited on thirteen categories. Now, it is time to give the winning stand its place on The Limited Palate Gourmet Wall of Gastronomic (pretty big word for a kid, huh?) Greatness.
Dad: If I had any idea how to add a drum roll to a BLOG Owen, I'd put it here. Let's just pretend that you can hear both of your BLOG followers, uh...I mean the thousands of followers around the world, drumming in syncopated unison. Can you hear it?
Owen: All I hear is my tummy rumbling. What's for dinner?
Dad: And the winner of the Limited Palate Gourmet VERY BEST Hamburger Stand in Austin is...
Owen: Hut's!!!
Owen: Yep, Hut's is awesome and while others may have beat it in burger taste or milkshakes or cleanliness, in the end, Hut's had the highest scores overall and I am proud to say it is my favorite burger stand in Austin!
Mom: Well, now what do we do? It feels pretty anticlimactic.
Owen: PIZZA! Let's find Austin's best pizza and spread the word of The Limited Palate Gourmet.
Mom: Oh good, I was afraid we were going to stay away from grease...
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